Infertility is a challenging condition as it imposes a limitation, which for some couples can be truly significant. Accepting this situation entails loss and grief, but also requires making decisions, all of which are of great magnitude.
Each case is different. As it is obvious, infertility affects those who desired to have a child more severely and suddenly realize that achieving it naturally is impossible. While there are a series of possible solutions, there is no guarantee that they will work, and in any case, they involve a lengthy process.
Psychological support is crucial when infertility causes distress, confusion, or conflicts. It is a situation that must be approached with care to avoid generating deep and long-lasting negative consequences.
Diagnosis of Infertility
The diagnosis of infertility marks a before and after in a person's life. Typically, this medical diagnosis is reached after a journey filled with failed hopes and expectations. Generally speaking, a 25-year-old woman will take between two and three months to achieve pregnancy if fertile. If she is between 35 and 40 years old, it will take between 12 and 13 months. Women over 40 will take up to two years or more to conceive. Due to the above, in most cases, fertility testing is not initiated until more than a year of attempting conception without success has passed. For women over 40, the time may be shorter.
The truth is that we are talking about a considerable period during which hope and frustration alternate. Thus, the diagnosis is reached with a certain level of weariness. There may be some relief at having a definitive answer, but the loss of reproductive capacity and the decisions this entails must also be accepted.
A New Process
Initially, the individual or couple affected by infertility must decide whether to resign themselves to not having children, seek assisted reproduction programs, or adopt. After the diagnosis, many individuals or couples experience a crisis. All of this involves reconsidering a life goal, and arriving at a convincing response is not easy. This is the ideal time to seek psychological support. Psychotherapy helps process grief appropriately but also clarifies thoughts and emotions so that the best decision for the future can be made. In these cases, there is no right or wrong decision; it all depends on each specific case. Whatever decision is made, it will not be easy to accept. Giving up on parenthood is a radical decision with significant implications in life. At the same time, seeking assisted reproduction or adopting a child are decisions that involve continued effort over several years. In all cases, one must be prepared for ups and downs and surprises along the way. Psychotherapeutic support can provide crucial assistance.
The Contribution of Psychotherapy
Despite highly advanced assisted reproduction programs, it is estimated that only 30 to 50% of cases achieve satisfactory results. Such a process may last up to six years, and in the end, the goal may not be achieved. Similar outcomes occur with adoption processes: they take several years, and success is not guaranteed. In summary, infertility and its consequences set in motion demanding, arduous, and long-term psychological processes. During these processes, individuals go through various moments of uncertainty, tension, and anxiety. Meanwhile, the couple undergoes transformation, not always for the better; thus, in addition to the aforementioned, there is the readjustment of the loving bond, which is not always easy. In such cases, a third party can be a great help in facilitating adequate communication, encouraging the recognition of one's own emotions, and enhancing understanding with the other. Within the framework of psychotherapy, managing difficult moments becomes easier.
If the dream of having a child finally comes true, there may be a tendency towards overprotection or adopting an anxious parenting style. If infertility is not ultimately overcome, a complete grieving process will be experienced. In both cases, psychological support is valid in achieving stability after processing the relevant emotions.